I’m hoping that by now, you have a much better idea about why he left and this is not easing the pain that you feel in your heart. After all, it takes TWO people to create an unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. But, my job here as a Life coach is to help you take responsability of your own life and to stay focused on your business.
That’s why I have a secret to tell you: your wounds that got triggered by his silence are surfacing for a main reason – they’re ready to be healed!
Right now, you’re feeling so naked, vulnerable and you just want to hide yourself. You may ever feel like you don’t want to look at yourself in the mirror. You’re so strong in every other area of life but it’s been so hard for you to handle this cruel silence from someone you loved so deeply.
The truth is, being vulnerable and naked is a really good thing because you are no longer:
- Hiding from your true self
- Burying deep emotions
- Escaping your own demons
And, that’s a perfect place to be in because this surrendering attitude brings openness and acceptance to what is already in the heart and to what is already in the now.
No one wants to hurt you, including your xbf!
Each one of us (including your xbf) is engaged in guarding his/her wounds. We’re always trying to hide them and protect them from going deeper. That’s why we get hurt so easily because the wound is already there and sometimes it takes a little tiny poke to let it all burst.
When I was hurting badly from the breakup, I thought it was the end of the world. I thought that I’ll never find someone who would love me as much as I’m capable of loving. The truth is, this is all BS! The mind was tricking me with stories to stay where I was instead of growing into something bigger, more beautiful and finding the love of my life.
The most important strategy you can use to fasten the process of healing is to grief your loss: Feel what you feel instead of pushing the pain away and you’ll discover an ocean of love and compassion within you.
At that point, seeking closure will no longer be needed because you’ll realize that real love does not come from trying to answer the what-ifs questions or to satisfy unrealistic needs, but by nurturing and growing the love you’ve discovered within yourself.
The magical lesson that I learned during this healing was that when I have so much “authentic and unconditional” love to give, we will draw the RIGHT lover towards us and that’s what brought my husband Charlie to me!
Now, is a good time for you to become aware of what’s within you. Help your wounds heal instead of helping them grow: Let go of your thoughts, abandon the destructive stories and the what ifs that are keeping you stuck today. It doesn’t matter what he has done, it doesn’t matter that he didn’t give you a closure….
in fact, his silence is a big form of closure…..
Leave a comment below and tell me what is the ONE loving action are you going to take to let yourself heal?