Category Archives: Success

31st birthday post: 21 things life has taught me.

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1- Pain comes from my thoughts and stories: I thought about death every time I thought about life. I saw joy and sadness, love and anger. It was hurtful to accept that everything had an opposite but then I realized that I can’t reject reality. What I learned (and still learning) is to see opportunity in darkness. I learned that death and sadness don’t mean anything unless we give them a story; our thoughts are what create our stories yet thoughts cannot be trusted 99% of the time. I learned that negative thoughts create pain, happy thoughts create joy.

2- I learned to choose life instead of death: One my biggest fears is abandonment. I was afraid of losing people I love so dearly and I was afraid of being left behind as well. This created a lot of stress in my life. I’ve worked through this fear for seven years and I can tell you that I am so much more trusting and relaxed now than I ever was. I studied myself and my fear and I learned that by choosing to protect myself from the pain that comes from abandonment, I am choosing to live being abandoned and I’m choosing to be with the dead instead of being alive.
Now, I practice to choose life, reality and gratitude. I choose to be human which means I will have pain, joy, sadness and happiness and that’s a good thing.

3- My story is chosen by me: I dwelled on my past for so long. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, different as if there was something wrong with me, with my past. This only caused separation and more loneliness.
I realized that the story I was telling myself was not real. It only drove me away from the blessings that God was giving me. It drove me away from people I loved most, it blinded me from witnessing my body, my soul and how much I’ve grown. Now I practice to change the stories that do not serve me.

4-Blaming others won’t solve my problems: I blamed my family, my xbfs, my husband, my friends and the world for the negative emotions I felt. Why? because It was easier to blame someone for not appreciating who I am, for not loving me unconditionally instead of doing it myself. I realized that blaming them gave them permission to take over my power, over my body, over my emotions instead of embracing that what I need is within and owning my power will set me free.

5- When delays happen in life, it’s for many reasons: One of my biggest strengths is the “activator” which means I get things done fast, I’m very efficient and I don’t take breaks. When I faced delays in my life, I went crazy. I thought that something bad was going to happen but now I realize that delays happen for many reasons. One of them is that we may not be ready to have what we want yet or what we want may not be for our greater good.I learned to trust every moment.

6- Keeping myself small will only Continue Reading

At some point, you must quit blaming others.

It hurts so bad when people I love criticize me, call me names like “overly sensitive” or tell me what to do in my life. It feels as if they are telling me that I am weak, not responsible or worthy. My desire is to have them look up to me. I want them to support me emotionally (and financially).

If these words spoke to you, then the blunt truth is that no one is doing anything to you. It’s your thoughts and your lack of trust in yourself that are destroying your life.

Coming from a very conservative Middle Eastern culture, I was expected to listen to what my parents demanded of me. That was part of being a good daughter and a well behaved person in the Lebanese community.

This pattern was so engraved within me to an extent that it was really hard for me to function without it (even as an adult). When I decided to have my own business, the truth revealed itself to me:

I realized how paralyzed I was waiting for others to tell me what to do and how good I was. I felt exhausted and angry when I didn’t get the compliment and emotional support I desired. I felt alone and unworthy when others criticized what I did. But, at some point, I realized that I had to grow up and be realistic about my situation so I asked myself : “If you don’t feel that you are good enough, if you don’t trust yourself, how could others trust that you can do it?”

My life changed when I answered myself honestly. Continue Reading

I was tired of bad things happening to me. Here’s what I did to turn my life around.

For so long, I was afraid of being hurt and rejected. I did everything possible to polish myself so that others would love me, so that I would fit in. I was terrified of loneliness. I was terrified of rejection. I didn’t know what else to do besides pleasing others yet deep inside, my heart was screaming.

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I wanted to speak my mind at all times but I felt that life would turn against me if I were vulnerable. I didn’t trust life. I thought it was my enemy. I had many negative experiences in my life so how could I know that I won’t be hurt again? My fear led me to see life through the eyes of a victim. It was easier to stay silent than to see life through the power I had within me.

I felt powerless when I went through a challenge and I accepted the emotions of loneliness and hopelessness I felt at the time. I was also okay with people stepping on me because I thought I should sacrifice myself to make other people happy. I did not want to end up alone after all.

It was easier to ignore the gifts that God gave me. I was scared to see the goodness in every negative experience I had. I saw the world and identified myself through the eyes of others instead of  identifying who I am through my own eyes and the eyes of God. I thought that was normal, that’s what everyone else did.

This behavior  led me to reject myself and to remain in a lonely place. Until one day, I realized  that everything happened FOR me and not TO me. I was tired of hurting myself which led me to take one of the biggest decisions in my life:

Continue Reading

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