1- Pain comes from my thoughts and stories: I thought about death every time I thought about life. I saw joy and sadness, love and anger. It was hurtful to accept that everything had an opposite but then I realized that I can’t reject reality. What I learned (and still learning) is to see opportunity in darkness. I learned that death and sadness don’t mean anything unless we give them a story; our thoughts are what create our stories yet thoughts cannot be trusted 99% of the time. I learned that negative thoughts create pain, happy thoughts create joy.
2- I learned to choose life instead of death: One my biggest fears is abandonment. I was afraid of losing people I love so dearly and I was afraid of being left behind as well. This created a lot of stress in my life. I’ve worked through this fear for seven years and I can tell you that I am so much more trusting and relaxed now than I ever was. I studied myself and my fear and I learned that by choosing to protect myself from the pain that comes from abandonment, I am choosing to live being abandoned and I’m choosing to be with the dead instead of being alive.
Now, I practice to choose life, reality and gratitude. I choose to be human which means I will have pain, joy, sadness and happiness and that’s a good thing.
3- My story is chosen by me: I dwelled on my past for so long. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, different as if there was something wrong with me, with my past. This only caused separation and more loneliness.
I realized that the story I was telling myself was not real. It only drove me away from the blessings that God was giving me. It drove me away from people I loved most, it blinded me from witnessing my body, my soul and how much I’ve grown. Now I practice to change the stories that do not serve me.
4-Blaming others won’t solve my problems: I blamed my family, my xbfs, my husband, my friends and the world for the negative emotions I felt. Why? because It was easier to blame someone for not appreciating who I am, for not loving me unconditionally instead of doing it myself. I realized that blaming them gave them permission to take over my power, over my body, over my emotions instead of embracing that what I need is within and owning my power will set me free.
5- When delays happen in life, it’s for many reasons: One of my biggest strengths is the “activator” which means I get things done fast, I’m very efficient and I don’t take breaks. When I faced delays in my life, I went crazy. I thought that something bad was going to happen but now I realize that delays happen for many reasons. One of them is that we may not be ready to have what we want yet or what we want may not be for our greater good.I learned to trust every moment.
6- Keeping myself small will only Continue Reading