Category Archives: Happiness

101 Easy Ideas That Will Get You To Be More Loved

Don’t we all want to be more loved? What is life without being loved? It feels meaningless and empty – right?

Many of us think that the only way to feel more loved is through getting it from someone else outside of us. Well, there is a little bit of truth about that except that no one can make us feel what is already not there in the first place.

No one can make you feel loved if you don’t embody love itself and for any of us to feel love – we must give it first.

Love and kindness go hand in hand together. We can’t scream at someone or abuse someone verbally then ask them to give us love.

We can’t complain about how unloving the world is when we are not doing anything to make it a kinder place for everyone to be in (including ourselves).

So, for any of us to experience more love we first must Be love and Be kind and then we can only experience what we are through giving them to someone – in fact to everyone.

There is no excuse for any of us not be kind with one another – yet we often forget to even be kind to ourselves when our focus is so much geared towards the “DOING” instead of “BEING” – SUCH AS BEING KIND, BEING LOVE, BEING SUPPORTIVE, PATIENT ect….

ACIM says: “Giving and receiving are on in truth”.

This is such a beautiful mantra and it is indeed so true. When we give love to someone, we experience ourselves as being loving. When we give our time to someone, we experience ourselves as helpful and generous. So, even though we are doing these acts of kindness towards others, we are also doing them for ourselves since we must be kind in order for us to act with kindness.

Everything emits energy whether it was positive or negative. The energy of the Daila Lama is very different from the energy of a terrorist. Also your energy will attract the same kind of energy (frequency) – therefore when you start your day with negative thoughts, your response to your thoughts will create your emotions and therefore your series of experience and of course influence the experience of others too.

 

I’d like to invite you to first take a much closer look at: what kind of person do you want to be in the world? How would you like to perceive yourself? Then start acting on it.

Since it’s part of our human nature to help one another out or else we will die as species….I’d love to help us all come up with act of kindness ideas where we can all create a very positive RIPPLE effect in our lives and in everyone else’s too.

101 WAYS TO BE KIND TO OTHERS 

  1. Clear up your house from things that you may not need anymore (even better – see if you have doubles of anything) and give them to someone in need
  2. Buy lunch for a homeless person
  3. Sit and chat with a homeless person – ask them how they are, what they need, listen to them and their life story
  4. Call a friend that you haven’t talked to in a very long time
  5. Listen to people around you without talking about yourself or without trying to fix their situation
  6. Write a letter for everyone in your family and tell each person 50 things you love about them
  7. Sponsor a child for 25-30 dollars a month – check out unbound.org
  8. Adopt a pet
  9. Save an insect’s or any animal’s life instead of killing it for no good reason
  10. Don’t cut off people while driving – instead let them pass and pray for them
  11. Pray for someone’s happiness every day and set it as a reminder on your phone too
  12. Surprise a family with clothes and food
  13. Donate your old clothes to a shelter or someone in need
  14. SMILE while walking and talking
  15. Say hello to people you pass (even if they don’t respond)
  16. Pick up trash from the street (And please don’t trash the streets either)
  17. Turn off the lights in your house – use as minimal lights as possible to help save energy (Same for AC, heater and so on)
  18. Reduce your red meat intake – studies show that 1/2lb burger is equivalent to 200 hours of 60w of lightbulb use
  19. Buy a hybrid car
  20. We are all good at something (even if it was washing the dishes) – give your talent for free to someone who needs it
  21. Offer to help
  22. Say thank you to your partner and kids very often
  23. Tell your partner what you love about them – compliment them every day (Same for your kids)
  24. Listen to your partner when he/she is talking about a problem – simply say the magical words: I’m sorry you’re going through this (instead of trying to fix the problem)
  25. Adopt a pet (or pets)
  26. Help a lost dog find home
  27. Foster a child
  28. Join a non profit organization or volunteer with them for free (most rewarding experience for me personally)
  29. Chat with a cashier – ask them about their day (Same for anyone who is serving you)
  30. Give a big tip
  31. Buy motivational books and pass them on to strangers
  32. Give flowers to people on the street
  33. Forgive someone from your past (even better – forgive everyone)
  34. Make amends for your mistakes
  35. Pay for someone’s gas at a gas station
  36. Write a motivational letter and post it in a public bathroom
  37. Tell your mother and father how much you love them
  38. Bring food to work
  39. Cook a nice meal and surprise your neighbor with it
  40. Give your neighbor a nice loving card along with a nice bouquet of flowers
  41. Put a quarter in an expired meter
  42. Buy food or coffee for people behind you If you’re doing a drive through
  43. Email or write an old teacher a nice thank you note
  44. Talk to someone who is an introvert or shy
  45. Buy your friend lunch or dinner
  46. Let the person behind you at the supermarket pass before you
  47. Help an old person finish their task
  48. Take an elderly out for dinner, walk or whatever they desire
  49. Hug more often
  50. Stop judging other religions and turn your focus inward
  51. Meditate – you’ll do yourself and everyone a favor 🙂
  52. Put positive sticky notes in random places
  53. Let other people have your parking space
  54. Give a compliment to a stranger
  55. Help new parents or single parents
  56. Tutor poor kids for free
  57. Stop blaming others for your experience – take responsibility instead
  58. Donate dog or cat food to a shelter
  59. Carpool as much as possible
  60. Buy christmas gifts for a poor family
  61. Donate to save the lives of pregnant dogs
  62. Help someone carry their grocery bags
  63. Hold the door for someone
  64. Hold your anger back instead of reacting to it
  65. Work and take responsibility of your own issues (no one needs to deal with them)
  66. Sponsor a monk (dreprung.com)
  67. Send holiday cards to your loved ones
  68. Put your phone away and BE present with your loved one
  69. Be honest with others (and yourself)
  70. Be yourself completely without pretense
  71. Stop complaining
  72. Say YES to people who ask for help
  73. Give your partner a nice massage
  74. Listen to your kids as if they’re your teachers
  75. Give up being right – choose kindness/peace instead
  76. Be kind to your body – feed yourself healthy food
  77. Give your soul food for thoughts every day
  78. Allow others to be vulnerable around you (give yourself that permission too)
  79. Don’t interrupt when someone is speaking
  80. Allow your kids to be who they want to be without fixing them
  81. Be picky with the words you use (better to stay silent at times)
  82. Say sorry if you hurt someone
  83. Pay for someone’s groceries
  84. Tell your boss what you appreciate about them genuinely
  85. Learn more about the climate change and become an activist for it
  86. Help a pregnant woman with her groceries
  87. Avoid gossip of any kind
  88. Give someone a second chance
  89. Give someone a 10 dollar bill and ask them to invest it
  90. Create meaningful traditions for the holidays that will make people happier (one thing we’re doing this year is asking people to say 3 things they love about each person who is present in the room)
  91. Say I love you silently to strangers
  92. Remind yourself that we all desire to be happy (even if other people’s actions don’t make sense to you)
  93. Help an addict
  94. Be a big brother or sister to someone
  95. Mentor someone for free
  96. Write your partner a love letter and leave it on the bed (perfect if you’re traveling)
  97. Leave your partner love notes in unexpected places such as lunch bag
  98. Look people in the eyes and smile
  99. Find the goodness/gift in every situation
  100. Donate your old phone or computer
  101. Most importantly – Please help the refugee crisis and more than 50,000 people trapped in Aleppo… Here are few links:1. Support the White Helmets.
    https://herofund.whitehelmets.org/donate/crowdfund/

    2. Support Doctors Without Borders.
    http://www.doctorswithoutborders.org/

    3. Support the Syrian American Medical Society.
    http://foundation.sams-usa.net/?home=true

    4. Support the International Rescue Committee.
    https://www.rescue.org/who-we-are

    5. Support Save the Children.
    http://www.savethechildren.org/…/c.8rKLIXMGIpI4E/b.7998857/…

    6. Support refugees.
    http://www.unhcr.org/en-us

Now it’s your turn, what are some of the acts of kindness that you’ve done or plan to do? Please share with us and help spread the word.

When your life purpose is confusing + you don’t know what makes you happy

At some point in our life, especially when we hit our late 20s or mid thirties, we begin to question what life is all about. What am I here for? What’s the point of it all? Who am I?

These questions show up when we’re usually struggling with our jobs, with our relationships or we’re going through depression, anxiety, loss whether it was the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, pet, friend ect..

When I talk about life purpose with clients or sometimes people who are close to me, I notice the same idea showing up over and over again. They often associate life purpose with figuring out what their career should be about. I was one of those people as well until I was not anymore.

My experience and especially my 6 months of depression taught me that it’s extremely dangerous to link my identity (who am I?) and/or my life purpose with my career for one simple reason: What would happen if I lose this job? Would I lose myself with it? Who would I be without it? What would happen to my life purpose then?

For example: let’s say that you feel the deep urge to fight for your country during the war and you deeply believe that this is your life purpose. You join the army and go fight that war. Then what? What happens when the war is over? Is your life purpose over as well?

Here’s what I believe: What we do is an expression of how we perceive ourselves and life. For example: I help people ease their suffering and wake up to their beautiful self – but my life purpose is not attached to that and this is only one aspect of how I’m expressing myself.

Helping people is something I enjoy because it helps us in our human evolution and it brings peace to people’s life. I can also only do this when I too do my inner work and therefore this pushes me to learn from other people about myself and to share what I have learned with others. It makes people I encounter my teachers and my students (that’s applied for all of us).

The effect of my inner work has also an effect on my work with people and my work with people has an effect on people around them. It’s all a ripple effect.

BUT and that’s a big BUT I can only help people from my heart when I’m doing it with love and I can only do it with love when I’m being love and I can only be love when I’m happy with myself.

It’s logic. There’s no need for any spiritual or philosophical or psychological answer here.

Some people’s goal is to get rich, to have their own startup, to be famous…but the question is why is it that they desire to achieve all of this? It is simply because they want to be happy.

So they work so hard to achieve their goals hoping that their achievements will give them happiness yet when they do reach them, they realize that something is still missing in their life.

Why?

Because they can never run away from themselves – what was causing them suffering and unhappiness in the first place is still there until it is not anymore (read about my experience in my book “Life Without Approval”).

So, what does this tell us about life purpose?

For me, it is very simple. I believe that life purpose is a goal and that goal is for us to make ourselves happy and we can only make ourselves happy by working through all the kinks that block that happiness.

In other words, our goal is to purify ourselves from all the negative thoughts, beliefs and patterns that are blocking our happiness in THIS moment. Otherwise, you or I will be chasing our tails for the rest of our lives and something will always be missing.

In Buddhism, they talk about how It is in our human nature to desire to be happy and eliminate suffering. Look at all the actions you take during the day:

You eat because you’re hungry (suffering), you go to work because you want to make a living (you want money so that you can survive….you don’t want to die), you find a relationship because you’re a social animal (you don’t want to be alone, being alone leads to death), you go to the bathroom because if you don’t…you know what happens then and so on.

The problem is on a subconscious level, many individuals believe that they don’t deserve to be happy and that brings them to sabotage themselves in every area of life. Some are even afraid of being happy because they’re not used it – it’s a foreign language to them.

The dangerous thing about this is that it doesn’t only affect our life; it affects the lives of everyone around us. Let me tell you why:

Let’s say you live in a very small village and you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy so what you’re experiencing emotionally could be feeling miserable, resentful, angry, sad, depressed and so on. Then what happens when you’re experiencing these emotions?

Your actions are going to reflect this belief.

Then what happens to people around you when they see your actions and hear your words?

They’re going to be upset by your behavior and they will experience negativity as well.

Then what?

They too….will reflect that in their actions towards people that surround them (unless they’re very conscious).

The ripple effect continues until the entire village becomes so miserable…and what does that lead to? They will all start fighting with one another and that leads to death. Isn’t this what’s happening in the world now?

That’s how powerful your state of being and your decision about deserving to be happy is. That’s why suffering happens in their world. What happened recently in Orlando is an effect of one guy’s deep pain of not embracing his sexuality this led him to kill innocent people and now the entire country is angry about this.

Can you see why it is so important to embrace yourself (negative and positive) and to make your life purpose about finding your own happiness?

But you can only find your own happiness by making peace with yourself. Your new job won’t give you happiness – finding the right partner or a new one won’t give you that happiness….it may temporarily but the feeling of something is missing will come back again and you’ll have to deal with this sooner or later.

But….you may say: if my life purpose is to be happy then what do I do when I don’t even know what makes me happy?

1. Happiness is a state of mind. In other words – it is a decision:

  • Answer the question of: Who am I (WITHOUT your job being involved in the picture). For me the answer is: I have infinite intelligence within me and I’m part of the bigger infinite intelligence. Otherwise everything every religion has talked about (God is the Alpha and Omega – He/She is everywhere and in everything does not make sense). This puts a big responsibility on me as well.
  • Decide that you deserve to be happy.
  • Begin to work through the kinks (your perception about yourself).

2. AGAIN – Decide that it’s worth it to see yourself in a whole new perspective. What’s blocking your happiness is your perception about yourself.

What are you believing about yourself that is blocking the flow of happiness to come to you?

Look at that belief – question it! Meditate on it! Feel how painful it is. Then instead of saying: I should not be this or be that or do this or do that – embrace yourself just as you are and say it’s okay for me to feel this – it is showing up for a reason and that is because that part of me needs to be seen.

When you begin to look at the parts of you that need to be seen with love, they will disappear. When you try to beat the part of you that is struggling then you’ll struggle so much more and this is where all our kinks are.

3. DECIDE to act like happy people do. Have fun. Enjoy life. Find humor in yourself…. in life. Be silly! Enjoy THIS MOMENT. Stop for a second and observe everything around you as if you may die in the next moment. Take a deep breath and really pay attention.

4. Put your life in perspective. Do you have EVERYTHING you need now? Then everything else is not as important as you think it is.

5. Is your situation the worst possible situation in the whole world? Could it be that someone else is going through much deeper pain? Be grateful for the pain and the joy because we all know that we live in a world of relativity – in other words: How would I know that I’m brunette if blond people did not exist? Pain is necessary – it has a message for us.

6. Accept your present. Embrace the job that you hate. Find beautiful things about your relationship. It is impossible for everything to be ALL negative. If you can’t find peace in the present even when you’re experiencing pain then how do you know that you will experience peace in the future when the future is completely unknown?

7. Lawfully embrace yourself, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until the day you die. Otherwise, how could you be and do THAT with your partner and with people around you when you can’t even be that towards yourself? How could your partner get to know you if you don’t even know yourself?

8. Understand that your own happiness is NOT about you. Your life purpose IS NOT about you anymore. It is about THE HUMAN RACE. We are all interdependent on one another. Refer to the village example above. That’s why your state of mind has a ripple effect on the world in a much larger scale then you can ever imagine. That’s why you can’t save the world – the only thing that you can do is save yourself by finding your own peace.

9. What if you die tomorrow? Would you be satisfied with yourself? Would you change anything about your life? We take life for granted. When we take life for granted, we take GOD for granted. There’s no difference between LIFE AND GOD.

We think that nothing will ever change when EVERYTHING is changing in every moment otherwise – there would be no life…there would be only death. So, get your forgiveness to self and others going – live each day as if it’s your last. Make sure that you don’t close your eyes without making peace with that day otherwise what happened that day will haunt you in the next.

10. Find a mentor, coach, therapist, spiritual group, someone who mastered what you desire to be, something or someone that will help you in your journey. Many people feel ashamed of getting help. Many people resist getting help because they’re so comfortable with their own pain…because if they do then they’re admitting that something is wrong….and sometimes it’s too painful to see our shadow…..so…they’d rather complain about their partner, complain about how bad life is…..complain about their job over and over again instead of taking action to make CHANGES in themselves.

Some people rely on faith alone hoping or things to be different in their lives…however faith alone is not enough. Nothing is going to change around us if our perception about ourselves and the situation doesn’t change and especially if we don’t take action to purify ourselves and make some changes in our behavior.

11. Finally this whole journey is a process. Jesus had his own struggle with grief, sadness, disappointment towards society and he worked through it throughout his life and not in ONE DAY. Buddha talked about his own suffering and worked through it all his life as well.

Every single spiritual master works through his/her own kinks throughout their lives. Enlightenment happens for hours, days, moments or months and then the reality of being human hits again. We will know better than before but we will always have things to work through.

So, instead of finding kinks in other people and trying to fix them or change them – turn your focus towards yourself because this is the only thing that you’ll ever be able to change and it’s not an easy job.

So, be gentle with yourself. Take it easy. Stop the harshness and the I should not feel this or I should not do that. Everything in your life led you to this point and time. When you begin the process or the decision of finding your own inner peace, everything will become so much more joyful. People will want to be around you more, your career will fall into place and the same for everything else in your life.

I’m here for you – always! send me your questions or comments! <3

 

The 2 Life Changing Benefits of Saying “I’m Sorry” To Someone You’ve Hurt

Growing up, we all learned to say “I’m sorry” every time we did something wrong or something that hurt others. This was how we learned the consequence of our words and actions.

Ironically, the practice of apologizing becomes a struggle as we mature because we fear giving up our power or we feel ashamed of what we have done.

I feared saying “I’m sorry” so many times in my life until I realized the harm that comes from the desire of standing my ground versus being at peace with myself.

In my process of learning more about forgiveness, I realized two things:

  •    Forgiveness is one of God’s (Pure Intelligence) values
  •   My actions are influencing other people’s actions and therefore the law of cause and effect is happening and creating an effect through every choice I am making today

Accepting and admitting my mistakes brought so many benefits into my life and I would like to share with you the biggest two:

1- It Helped me Decide who I want to be:

Realizing that we have hurt someone gives us the chance to realize that we are human beings who tend to forget that in our essence we are love and we are meant to be that love and share it but not at the expense of hurting others (or hurting ourselves).

We hurt others when are so preoccupied with protecting ourselves rather than seeing how we are contributing to our relationships and to the world in general. Realizing our hurtful actions lead us back home to love. It is also an indication that we are becoming radically honest with ourselves and responsible for our actions.

“Every act, is an act of self-definition” – Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsh

How we respond to what people say to us or to any situation is key to experiencing peace. If we respond with aggression, then we will feel the effect of our aggression in our body, heart and people around us will feel it too.

However, every time we point the finger at someone, we are defining ourselves as powerless beings or victims. Every situation comes with a responsibility which means we have a choice about how we are choosing to react (respond) in it.

Power comes in when we choose to respond to the situation in a manner that makes us feel whole rather than right. Deciding who we want to be makes us move from being a victim to being a truly humble conscious being who is aware of the role he/she is playing in the world. It all goes back to who am I? Am I being the light or darkness in this situation?

Every action or lack of action we make influences other people’s lives and actions, therefore what can we truly change about our actions that could make a better influence in the world?

 

2- I was able to love myself so much more: If we were to truly contemplate the amount of energy that we use to feel that we’re right in situations, we realize how much power we’re giving to an energy that is not nurturing anyone. How could we leave space for more love into our lives when our heart is so cluttered with resentment and negativity?

We think that we can love ourselves regardless how others feel because their feelings are not our responsibility. While this is true on so many levels, we still need to be aware and cautious about separating ourselves from others because at the root we are all one, we share the same feelings, same desire and same needs. Therefore, when we hurt others, we also hurt ourselves.

Self-love is a loving act towards ourselves but not at the expense of others.

Many of us think that in order for us to love ourselves, we must do whatever it takes to save that self from hurt. Our ego mind, will tell us that we’ll lose respect, dignity and ourselves if we ask for forgiveness. We must lose those parts in order to gain our true self fully.

Otherwise, what kind of self-love would we have when we are hurting others on the way? What kind of future will we have when we don’t feel at peace with our current and past self?

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