Are you someone who is extremely ambitious and confident yet always faces challenges to stay in a long-term relationship?
I’ve been conducting a study on successful men and why they stay or leave a relationship. Today, I’m going to share with you the top 3 reasons (besides cheating) why men choose to walk away from the relationship they had with an ambitious partner.
Reason #1: Ambitious women talking repetitively about their success. Even though the male partner truly appreciates and honors the achievements of their partner, he gets really annoyed if she’s constantly bragging about her success and talking about it as if she’s the main contributor to the relationship.
This causes him to feel inadequate or “LESS THAN” her. One guy even said that it doesn’t matter if his partner makes 200k more than him. What matters is that she doesn’t have an attitude about it and that she validates his contribution to the relationship.
Tip#1: Get to know yourself really well and understand what do you really need in a relationship. At the same time, get to know your date or your future partner really well. What makes him feel good about himself? What makes him feel appreciated and valued? You can still talk about your success but appreciation is the most attractive gift you can ever give to yourself and your future partner.
Reason #2: Lack of trust and judgment in the relationship. This leads women to ask for proofs, to question their partner’s choices and to seek constant validation that their partner won’t cheat on them especially when they’re busy. Men have low tolerance for fights and arguments. If they find that the pain of staying is more than the pain of leaving, then this makes it easier for them to walk away.
Tip #2: it’s hard to trust after being disappointed and hurt so many times. Yet, we always have to give trust a try otherwise we’re going to make ourselves and those around us crazy. Instead of showing lack of trust to your partner or to anyone, talk to them about how you’re feeling and about what’s scaring you.
This will open up the space for both of you to feel more comfortable in your own skin and in your communication with each other. In fact, this will give the opportunity to meet you where you are and even talk to you about his deepest fears.
Reason#3: Criticism and disrespect. Driven men are as ambitious as you and they hate being told what to do. In fact, they call it being told what to do “mothering”. No man (even if he was not driven) likes to me mothered and criticized. This dynamic triggers them to feel a deep fears such as fear of not being good enough for you, they are less than you and they feel unaccepted. This leads them to walk away and find someone who appreciates and love them for who they are.
Tip #3: Disrespect and criticism are the results of anger, disappointment and hurt. This is a great opportunity for you to identify what’s triggering these emotions even if you may say.. well, do I really have to deal with this? I’m fine… I’m moving on.
It’s important for everyone to understand what makes them “THEM”. The truth is, even if you hate those feelings, they are really not that bad when you become familiar with them. Painful and positive feelings both exist to deliver a message that needs our attention. You’re strong, ambitious and courageous… turn your confidence towards understanding your emotions and once you do… write down what you need and want in a relationship.
Have you ever been with someone who’s less successful than you? What challenges did you face? And what in your opinion keeps men in a long-term relationship with someone who’s more ambitious and successful than them?
Share your story in the comments section below.