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You were head over heels over your x-partner but you you knew that you loved him way more than he did. You often felt UNWANTED around him especially that he would not let go criticizing your imperfections and your past.

Deep inside you know that you’re a very powerful and independent woman yet you feel pathetic and angry for loving someone who made you feel that there’s something wrong with you.

He made you doubt yourself, he made you insecure in your own skin.

Your self esteem and confidence after daily criticism made you feel worthless. You want your independent self back but you fear that he was right about you. “There’s something wrong with me, why else wouldn’t he love me back or stay with me?” you may find yourself saying.

If this is something you’ve experienced, then welcome to the club. Almost every single person man or woman got their heart broken and felt insecure in a relationship. I myself went through this six years ago. It was tough to break my ego but it was one of the most important things that ever happened “for me” in my life.

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I know you want to understand why your ex-partner was critical of you, so let’s handle this piece first:

The answer is simple, [Keep reading...]

in 2001, my family went through a financial crisis and that caused us to lose almost everything  we had including business, house, friends, relatives, social proof and so on. I was eighteen at the time and I did not know how to deal with the situation well.

People in my society like every society loved to gossip and judge. It was entertaining and gave many of them a sense of connection with others. This brought me feel so ashamed about our financial crisis.

omg did you hear about this

I felt as if something was wrong with me and with my family. I thought that we must be perfect all the time and hardships were not acceptable. This triggered the urgency to constantly protect myself from being rejected.

I hid my true voice for a very long time. I was afraid of being more judged and I didn’t want to feel alone or alienated. I desperately wanted to belong, to connect and to be loved. Can you relate? [Keep reading...]

“I am and I have” are the most important words we use every single day. What we say or write after them is what shapes our identity and more importantly it is what shapes our destiny.

Have you ever thought about how many times you label yourself every day?

For example:

  • I am grumpy right now (I personally say this a lot).

  • I am stuck.

  • I am hating this job.

  • I am bored or I am boring.

  • I am scared of flying.

  • I am not strong.

  • I am bipolar (watch out, I’ll snap at you anytime I want).
  • I have BPD (which equals I am BPD, I’m messed up and there’s something wrong with me).

  • I have anxiety or I have depression (which equals I am anxiety and I am depression,  there’s something wrong with me, I’ll always be depressed and anxious).

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,

Your thoughts become your words,

Your words become your actions,

Your actions become your habits,

Your habits become your values,

Your values become your destiny.” – Ghandi

Believing that you are XXX is a trap. It gets you paralyzed because you think, you speak and you act as if you’re that belief. It prevents you from growing and from seeing the actual truth, YOUR TRUTH.

Let’s take this example: What happens when someone gets diagnosed with “anxiety disorder”? [Keep reading...]

You’ve been broken up with and you don’t understand the sudden reasons for the break up. It hurts. It’s painful. It’s embarrassing.

You’re confused about whether he truly loved you. You wonder if the whole relationship was a lie. You feel anger and resentment in your heart.

Deep inside, you’re dreaming of hearing his footsteps at the door of your apartment, coming back just to tell you that he made a big mistake leaving you. You want him to say the words: “I’m sorry, please forgive me. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you.”

You want answers. You’re stuck. You can’t move on.

Yet, in reality you’re not getting your closure from him and you probably never will.

4 Strategies That Will Help You Move On when You’ve Been Broken Up With: [Keep reading...]

I just came back from a 4 day immersion seminar with Tony Robbins. The energy and power I felt at that event were so high and the memory will stay with me forever.

But, I was very anxious prior to the event specifically about taking my life to the next level and walking on fire.

Negative chatters were unstoppable the moment I booked my ticket. I was terrified of the idea of being hurt from the firewalk. What if I didn’t know how to walk on fire? What if I hurt my feet and I’m all alone around 5000 people without my husband or anyone I know? Who would support me? How would I go back home?

I doubted myself. I doubted what I was capable of. But deep inside I knew something big was about to transform.

The date arrived. The energy was extremely high before we entered the event. People jumping, dancing, laughing and chatting. I was still feeling a bit uncomfortable but I was loosening up slowly.

Toni did an outstanding job. His words hit the spot for each one of us and he created an extremely contagious powerful state for each one of us. I had no option but to dance and simply shift my focus to how powerful I really am.

firewalk picture

That day, I learned and experienced for 10 hours how I could instantly shift my state from fear to complete power. That came in quite handy and by the time my turn came to walk on fire, I was so excited, happy, thrilled, hugging people left and right as if I knew them forever.

I no longer felt alone. I did not let my fear control me. I was controlling my fear.

How did I learn to do that? 3 important things Toni talked about:

1- Change of state (physiology) through my posture, dancing, screaming and singing repetitively.

2- Change of focus to what I want to feel on the other side of the firewalk.

3- Change of language. I was no longer saying I can do it. I was saying: I can do anything. I claimed my power! While walking on fire, Toni asked us to say the word: Cool moss.

My anxiety prior to the event was a really good thing. Why? Because I learned that 99% of the time my negative thoughts are bull%^#$. They are not real. They are not true. They are also not serving me at all except for giving me some certainty that I’m safe where I am right now even though deep inside I felt trapped and terrified.

I danced with fear. I felt scared prior to the event but I did what I wanted to do anyways.

The most important lesson of all is that when I claim my power (and everyone can do this at any time instantly), I can do ANYTHING I EVER DREAM OF.

Now back to you:

I want to challenge you to experiment with a situation that you’re struggling with:

  1. Notice your state. Do you feel tension in your shoulders? Neck? Throat? Are your shoulders down or back? What about your chest?

  2. Notice what you’re focusing on: How bad is your situation? What emotions is it triggering? What are you afraid of?

  3. Notice what language are you using when you’re speaking with yourself or others.

Then:

  1. Play some loud fun music and dance, jump, scream, sing for 5 minutes only.

  2. Shift your focus towards what is it that you really want instead in this situation

  3. Change your language. For example if you’re saying to yourself: I am always so overwhelmed, say instead: I will always find a way to relax myself.

How do you face your fears and anxiety? What have you tried that shifted you immediately? Please share it in the comments below.

P.S: Below is the video of the winner of last week’s contest. Congrats my friend!!! Please email me at belmer.cynthia@gmail.com so that I can send you the gift. :)

 

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